And so, today I have realized...
Recently, I came across a certain person who I neglected. True, I was younger (21) but the way I treated him was poor, no excuses. Seeing him again and hearing about the recent, and serious, development in his life brought to life again the fact that my senior year of college was hands down the worst period of self-discovery that I have ever been through. I am ashamed of the way I acted towards him and feel as though I will never be the "live and let live" type of person, the way some of the people I know were. Seeing him recently made me realize that I just steamrolled over him and didn't care either way. Probably be/c he was still so genuinely happy to see me, and if I was him, I would have just said "Bitch, talk to the hand" or something along those lines (well, probably not those precise words be/c I lack both the attitude and lingo to really pull that off). Anyway. I am certain he knows of my remorse and apologetic stance to date, as I have made it clear to him, but I still can't really look back on that time period and say "wow, I was a great person." And that bothers me, because I try to do that nearly every day. Its not like I shot him or lied to him (straightforwardly at least)...but then I think about what it means in the big picture and I am still drawn to the "yeah, it matters, be/c it was me and my character and neither were full of promise or positivity back then and for me to present myself like that is not acceptable."
And so it goes.
Recently, I came across a certain person who I neglected. True, I was younger (21) but the way I treated him was poor, no excuses. Seeing him again and hearing about the recent, and serious, development in his life brought to life again the fact that my senior year of college was hands down the worst period of self-discovery that I have ever been through. I am ashamed of the way I acted towards him and feel as though I will never be the "live and let live" type of person, the way some of the people I know were. Seeing him recently made me realize that I just steamrolled over him and didn't care either way. Probably be/c he was still so genuinely happy to see me, and if I was him, I would have just said "Bitch, talk to the hand" or something along those lines (well, probably not those precise words be/c I lack both the attitude and lingo to really pull that off). Anyway. I am certain he knows of my remorse and apologetic stance to date, as I have made it clear to him, but I still can't really look back on that time period and say "wow, I was a great person." And that bothers me, because I try to do that nearly every day. Its not like I shot him or lied to him (straightforwardly at least)...but then I think about what it means in the big picture and I am still drawn to the "yeah, it matters, be/c it was me and my character and neither were full of promise or positivity back then and for me to present myself like that is not acceptable."
And so it goes.