postgraduationhaze

The" If it doesn't kill you, it... just damages you for life " Entry
Date: 1.29.04
Climate: windchilled
Eating: --
Drinking: hot cocoa
Feeling: reminiscent
Listening to: "I am the sun...and the air..."
Watching: the rest of Personal Velocity
Reading: A blurb in the organizations newsletter, detailing how my boyfriend's fathers' bank/corporation, is part of the predatory lendors my work is trying to fight against...an interesting romeo and juliet twist...

I think the words "want to place my hands on America to heal it" was uttered during tonights Democratic presidential debate. Could have been Edwards. Maybe Kucinich. I don't know but its like a show--I love how, no matter what the questions, they're all able to bring it back to their platform. I was listening to it as I was stuck in traffic from like Calumet City--I put on 100 miles on the cavie today---poor lass. I went out to the state line to talk to DHS workers. It was so miserable and cold. I was so miserable and cold. I don't know how much more I can take of this cold weather along with people's cold mannner--they're so rude. They don't want to help themselves, so why should I, is what kept echoing...
But its about the cause. and helping the eighty two year old man who is a home care worker who makes less than a starbucks barista and doesn't have healthcare--because the state sees him as a "glorified babysitter" Fucking politics. Forget sick days for those who work with the sick, they don't need it. And lets just assume that they don't need healthcare either, since they live it everyday...and vacation days? Shouldn't leaving their house be enough?

Today was a weird day. An altered state.

Posted by * at 12:36 AM | Permalink | Comments

The" Its two degrees outside! " Entry
Date: 1.28.04
Climate: COLD
Eating: pistachios.
Drinking: Water
Feeling: Okay
Listening to: A mix CD that I just made that has stuff from The Sounds, Britney Spears, DeepDish and Everything But The Girl remixes, Idlewild, The Smiths, Fugazi...you get the idea. its very "random Cherie" (like a variety of Barbie Doll or something)
Watching: THE OC
Reading: Lullaby

I got Eddie hooked on Enders Game. He is almost finished. I love that book; it'd be an interesting movie, so long as that Haley Joel Osment fuck didn't play Ender...

Tonight I went out to Glen Ellyn, since I took the day off work to go to a job interview for a receptionist position at Holmes Place, this uber trendy European health club, huge in Europe, with locales in like Geneva, Vienna, England, Germany, Madrid, etc...its only US locale is in Chicago, due to Mayor Daleys extreme tax cuts and benefits he gives to major corps like Boeing and now Holmes Place to come in...this place was impeccable, almost Stepford-like...it was equipped with Spa, Restaurant, Ion-filtered pool (no chlorine!) in Streeterville. Very money...the interview was insane. The made us act out this innane scene where there was only four spots left in a bunker post a nucleur bomb, and we were given roles, such as farmer, doctor, school girl, rock star, etc. We had to lobby to get in the bunker, and why we were indispensible.
I was the politician, go figure.
They didn't do much else with us, it was so lame. They also wanted us to "introduce the person next to us, and that person, do the same" so fucking lame--so much more "thorough" or so they think, blah blah blah. In that introduction, they wanted us to share a "deep dark secret" with the rest of the group.
The fuck? As if I have one, a) and b) if I, would I be inclined to tell it to like thirty strangers?
Jesuschrist... I just got to thinking that maybe if I had time, i'd set something up like that, were i'd place ONE ad in the Reader or something, and watch people come and do just about anything to get a job nowadays.
Its pathetic. And yet so necessary. I don't know if i'll get invited back for a "real" interview, aka the second round, but today I saw just how far i'd go to get a job where I am not walking outside in the frigid cold, in the ghettos of Chicago, trying to fight for State homecare workers rights, and voter reg. I would have probably barked if they'd asked me to. I think we all would have.
But I went to Eddies and watched the OC while he sat next to me and read Enders Game, as he loathes that TV show... Actually, I laid on him is more accurate; I tend to do that...lay on top or languish half of my body on the couch and armrest, that sort of thing.
He cut his hair so he no longer looks like one of the Strokes.
I knew it was his time when he got his digital camera back from the manufacturer--
Eddie: "I have to get my hair cut"
Me: I thought you were holding out til February, although it was never made clear why exactly.
Eddie: "Yeah, well, I can't. I just, I have to get it cut."
Me: Wait.
Eddie: "Yeah?"
Me: You're so insistent and its so immediate...you took a picture of yourself, didn't you?
Eddie: (laughs hard) "--Yes! How'd you know?"
Me: Suddenly you have to get a hair cut. Its like, suddenly you're aware of the fact that you resemble someone by the first name of Fabrizio?
Eddie: (laughing)...crazy girl.
--
Thats about it. So I wasn't too surprised as he opened the door, with a new coif.
Awww.

Back to the South Side tomorrow.

Posted by * at 1:29 AM | Permalink | Comments

The" Done, but with errors " Entry
Date: 1.26.04
Climate: slush
Eating: goddamned banana chips, again. I bought four pounds worth.
Drinking: --
Feeling: AOK
Listening to: The Stills
Watching: The Stills
Reading: Just got Love in the Time of Cholera.

As though it wasn't completely obvious, I just saw The Stills at the Empty Bottle. They were great. KH Mat actually recommended me; probably the only good thing I got out of that whole seven month correspondence. However, as the set wore on, the more they started to sound like The Strokes...and less like what I hear in them: The Smiths mopey vibe and all that. I went alone, and stood next to of course the most obnoxious people there. Typical. Also, the man standing next to me was blatantly hitting on me and not getting the hints at all. "Looks like you got lucky tonight," as he grins at me, and like points to himself. Are you kidding me?
Plus, he was creepy. And with a big group of guys that just didn't seem like they'd be into The Stills--not to discriminate, but baseball cap donning, The North Face down vests with beers in their hands and keys to one of the SU fucking V's outside really didn't strike me as the precise demographic that usually frequents the Empty Bottle, but I suppose its a good sign that good music is making its way to the masses. Via who knows, but its better than nothing at all.
The job was rewarding today: I met a gay couple who gave me a crotched snowflake, and told me that everyone who enters the house gets one. I also signed up another person who primarily spoke Spanish so I was proud of my ability to communicate. And I also talked with a woman who had just recently moved out of a shelter, where I chatted with her today...its all so unreal. I had never been incorporated with that part of Chicago, and although I may have seen it, its entirely different to try to immerse yourself in it, and get something out of it to in some round about way, help it improve itself. I had two kids ask me to get a mighty dangerous icicle down from a warehouse. I told them no...knowing me, it'd fall on one of them and poke their eye out and then i'd be liable.
I went back to visit one of the first members I had met with; her little girl is getting attached to me and now cries when I leave. Not good, but its cute to have this little seventeen month old girl cling to me and smile and gurgle and all that baby stuff.
My hair really stinks. I need to take a shower.
Tomorrow they move me back to the South Side--

Posted by * at 1:08 AM | Permalink | Comments

The" You and the Little Mermaid Can Go F-yourselves" Entry
Date: 1.25.04
Climate: so f-ing cold!
Eating: still digesting Chipotle from last night
Drinking: water
Feeling: content
Listening to: "The taste of your lips i'm on a ride"
Watching: --
Reading: 100 Years of Solitude/ Enders Game

So for the past few days, i've been adjusting to this job. At first, and I'm not going to lie here, I really hated it, but was excited at the prospect of working for and with something that I felt for. In college especially, I was addicted to those "causes" and now its like I am really happy to be feeling that fire in my belly is back...and not the acid reflux/indigestion fire either.
I don't know how long I will end up doing this, but I think it will be for awhile. The pay isn't great but then again, working for causes like this is never about the pay, is it? And its enough...I am going to try to get a job at a coffee house or restaurant waitressing or baristaing for the morning hours perhaps...because I can't drive to freaking Addison every morning. Its just too much.
The weekend was spent registering people to vote for four hours yesterday in Chicago Heights. I picked up two women, one who wouldn't stop chattering about the bible for the entire ride, and another who had a breathing pattern that resembled snoring, so every time she would breathe in and out, it sounded like she had fallen asleep. I kept looking at her, thinking she'd dozed off, but she was sitting there, eyes wide open. On the way back, I made them listen to This American Life, which eliminated the Bible chatter and the snoring, or at least, tuned it out. They were nice women, though. But again, it was a day of realizing how lucky I am, and how sad I am that so many people aren't. I was faced with this dilemma of knwoing that I want to work within this field, but also on a very capitalistic level, want to make money. As novel as it is to work in an office which is overcrowded, disorganized, and run through the passion of people who want fair rights and treatment for this demographic, I know I couldn't do it forever. It pushes me to get to law school faster, and to really go into a field where I am doing similar work but perhaps getting paid more...Just writing that felt wrong, like I'm a traitor or something. I suppose you can be caring and also financially enterprising...anyway.
I was supposed to go to this Solidarity event co-hosted with In These Times magazine but we never got there...eddie was sick, so we sat in bed and read "100 years of solitude" aloud...and listened to Chopin. It was great. After he felt up to it, we went out to Chipotle and discussed sexual stereotypes and how long we prophesized that we would be together. Its tough to say right now...I did meet three of his aunts and two of his cousins on Friday, and I really loved them. It made me understand their family a lot more...in a good way. In no way did I feel like I was a part of them, but I felt more at home and welcomed. Eh, we'll see.
My mom's heating pad caught fire today. Luckily, my dog's ass which is usually parked on top of it, wasn't, so neither she nor the dog were injured. The heating pad has finally been scrapped though.
My brother is still in Hawaii...he leaves for Alaska in no more than a month. He doesn't like Honolulu though--says its too much metropolis and not enough landscape or something...I told him to go F-himself, its like -0 degrees with a windchill of ten thousand miles...anything is better than this prison.

Posted by * at 3:29 PM | Permalink | Comments