Time for more pictures
The last week has been depressing. I don't mean that in the hanging myself via my ceiling fan kind of way, but more in the I can't believe that every f-ing day, no matter what, I wake up, go to work, work out (this, a more recent activity due to the fresh gym membership), walk home, eat dinner, sleep. The weekends provide some variety but not much; I sleep longer, and the eight hours I spend during the week at work turn into dens of rest, in bed, with Eduardo, doing God knows what...well, in bed and Eduardo can equal something obvious, but beyond that, its more like...staring at one another adoringly for hours on end, with lots of talking and eating in between. Its sick how much in love we are, especially since, come this May, he and I = three years...which prompts my mother to call, sometimes with the opening line of "how's Eduardo's ring fund going?" I got really upset that time and almost hung up on her. I have often told Eduardo that 1) I don't wish to get married in any time under 3 more years and 2) I disagree with most if not all traditions with marriage and weddings, thus, I will likely contribute to this "ring fund" (which he does have but I hope for my sake there's only like $100 dollars in it). If I'm going to sport an engagement ring, lets face, it I want it to be big, flashy, and otherwise fit for a 19 year old Hollywood starlet and I don't care what you think. These rings tend to be more money, and since I have the salaried job at this point, and in the next three years hope to become an attorney, god willing the acceptance letters start rolling in and I get a job, I will likely be making more than he is so it figures that I will be able to sacrifice more money...although I will have student loans to pay off while he is blessed with a rich family and no loans so there is some perspective but...i'm rambling. Basically it pisses me off that there are so many traditions in weddings and marriages that minimize the female role into a helpless, jobless, and then kitchen ready stereotype.
I'm all worked up now. Great. But i reference the depression emotion be/c I feel so stagnant...happy with Eduardo and not at work, rather...unhappy and machine-like during the week. Looking for the solution and one that doesn't involve boozing (my teeth always really hurt after I drink too much, truly) and slutting around (I do have a boyfriend after all). There are more ethical reasons to avoiding those two options but the other side of what to do to spice up my life inevitable involves more social-community presentations re: media, politics, and sociological issues that tend to push me even more into the crazy feminist camp that I have now taken permanent residence in. Get me started on why I will never have a baby and I swear you'll wish you were dead....so I don't need any more of that in my life. Even trying to read and I buy books about the Israel-Palestine decades long conflict and that also riles me up. I suppose that I am trying to say that I need some more...shallow interests. Shopping anyone?
The last week has been depressing. I don't mean that in the hanging myself via my ceiling fan kind of way, but more in the I can't believe that every f-ing day, no matter what, I wake up, go to work, work out (this, a more recent activity due to the fresh gym membership), walk home, eat dinner, sleep. The weekends provide some variety but not much; I sleep longer, and the eight hours I spend during the week at work turn into dens of rest, in bed, with Eduardo, doing God knows what...well, in bed and Eduardo can equal something obvious, but beyond that, its more like...staring at one another adoringly for hours on end, with lots of talking and eating in between. Its sick how much in love we are, especially since, come this May, he and I = three years...which prompts my mother to call, sometimes with the opening line of "how's Eduardo's ring fund going?" I got really upset that time and almost hung up on her. I have often told Eduardo that 1) I don't wish to get married in any time under 3 more years and 2) I disagree with most if not all traditions with marriage and weddings, thus, I will likely contribute to this "ring fund" (which he does have but I hope for my sake there's only like $100 dollars in it). If I'm going to sport an engagement ring, lets face, it I want it to be big, flashy, and otherwise fit for a 19 year old Hollywood starlet and I don't care what you think. These rings tend to be more money, and since I have the salaried job at this point, and in the next three years hope to become an attorney, god willing the acceptance letters start rolling in and I get a job, I will likely be making more than he is so it figures that I will be able to sacrifice more money...although I will have student loans to pay off while he is blessed with a rich family and no loans so there is some perspective but...i'm rambling. Basically it pisses me off that there are so many traditions in weddings and marriages that minimize the female role into a helpless, jobless, and then kitchen ready stereotype.
I'm all worked up now. Great. But i reference the depression emotion be/c I feel so stagnant...happy with Eduardo and not at work, rather...unhappy and machine-like during the week. Looking for the solution and one that doesn't involve boozing (my teeth always really hurt after I drink too much, truly) and slutting around (I do have a boyfriend after all). There are more ethical reasons to avoiding those two options but the other side of what to do to spice up my life inevitable involves more social-community presentations re: media, politics, and sociological issues that tend to push me even more into the crazy feminist camp that I have now taken permanent residence in. Get me started on why I will never have a baby and I swear you'll wish you were dead....so I don't need any more of that in my life. Even trying to read and I buy books about the Israel-Palestine decades long conflict and that also riles me up. I suppose that I am trying to say that I need some more...shallow interests. Shopping anyone?