29 November 2003

"Recently, Glass had the opportunity to interview NPR colleague Terry Gross of 'Fresh Air,' who is also celebrating an anniversary. He says that she, surprisingly, dodged more than a few questions. 'I tell you, she doesn't feel under any compulsion to deliver the fucking goods. One that she dodged that I thought was really funny is, is she comfortable when people speculate about her personal life based on what happens in her interviews? Is she at peace with that? I asked a couple of times and she never came out and gave an answer.' "

I just, I have to stop this. But its just so amazing.

Date: 11.29
Climate: cold, yet seasonably mild
Drinking: more Gatorade (i think I just like getting it to try out all their ridiculously carbonated and fortified names--)
Eating: Leftovers
Feeling: Christmas time
Listening to: The Strokes
Watching: nothing
Reading: Text messages and Linear Logic, or so the MENSA sponsored book my parents have says.

In response to "whats the best thing to do with turkey leftovers?"

"Thanks for asking. As a vegetarian, everything I eat is boring, and my life is duller and smaller as a result. Every other recipe in this little roundup is more delicious than what I'll be eating during and after Thanksgiving."
-Ira Glass, Host of This American Life


Once again, Ira and I identify on just so many levels. I should for next year fix a vegetarian Thanksgiving feast and invite him over...that is, after I have gotten to actually know him and not obsessively track random knowledge about him. Lordy.

This is getting serious.

In other news, an update on the joblessness. I got a phone call from a man at a consulting firm who was "impressed with my amount of communication skills" as well as the "tenacity from my cover letter" to really "sink into the real world."

This was all a relief, as he began the conversation by saying that he was certain he'd found someone to fill the position I had sent my resume in for. Then, he went on with the news that he and his partners were impressed with me and wanted me to come in to interview for the job of-get this-corporate representative on behalf of them.

As far as I know, I would basically be representing them in corporate settings (hence the name, I know, haha) but would be using my persuasion skills ala newspaper/political science past to get what the consulting firm wants, no matter what.

At first, I was a little taken aback, but I figure its just an interview and hope...this man knew my resume and cover letter inside and out. And just when I thought no one was reading it...
I never thought i'd fit the corporate profile but its getting to be a toss up: cage dance or corporate life? I believe all incorporate the word or usage of "whore" into themselves///

In other more holiday news, home is still nice and cozy. Still a little empty without Jesse.
We cut down our Christmas tree today. The house smells like spruce and balsam fir.
The tree was giving us some grief (getting it up in the stand, getting it straight, etc.)
According to my father, the tree just needs to "get acclimated with the room."

Good to know.



27 November 2003

Date: 11.26
Climate: Winter wonderland
Drinking: Egg Nog
Eating: ...there's that digestive issue again...whatever, it's officially Peppermint Ice Cream season.
Feeling: Hungover
Listening to: Deja Entendu
Watching: Trista and Ryan's wedding, of course
Reading: aka squinting...my optometrist appointment on Monday couldn't come quicker

It never really gets dark here in Minnesota. The snow seems to make an eery reflection through the entire night sky...actually, thats a lie...it's absolutly pitch black for the first fourth of the evening, but the other three fourths which turn to early morning earlier than any other place i've been in, and it creates this propensity for a white light to glow from everything, especially the already electric white snow.
Growing up, it was one of the best parts of staying out late, especially if you were with friends or boyfriends or something like that--like the moon actually rises and gives off an effect of the sun when it rises or something.

Its always a little odd ot be home. The house just feels smaller each time and myself far too big to be in it. Even my attitude has changed: I feel more hard; harsh; cynical and restless. I don't like it; this elitist attitude begins to creep in.
But in other news, I was in Minneapolis last night, visiting my best friend who was throwing a Thanksgiving dinner/party. It was fun, although there was of course an unnecessary fight which capped off the night (a thrown beer can, trash talking, you know the drill). I met these three guys who were simply hysterical.

#1 kept calling me sweetheart and would bring me anything he THOUGHT, emphasis on thought and not asked, I wanted. A glass of water (say what?), a glass of wine (getting better but still strange)...a cigarette (total loss). It was odd and I just kept taking all the "gifts" as graciously as I could...But his dad is an attorney so he felt like he'd struck gold once I told him I wanted to study law. If only it were that simple...

He, in turn, told guy #2 who then drilled me on what kind of law I wanted to study, what I wanted to lobby for (such an idealistic question really)...I asked him where he worked and he said at a media company and I said "oh, are you a graphic designer? You look like one."
His eyes, as guy #3 translated later, just sorta glazed over and he just sat there, trying to figure out why I would say that, I suppose... Eventually he just gave up and we began talking about Democrats.

Guy #3 was the most humorous of them all: very Jon Stewart Daily Show-esque (no joke). Team the three of them together and it was marvelous. Minus the obligatory
"you're really beautiful"
"Can I touch your hair"
"You're impressively ambitious" comments.

the best was the revisitng of the graphic designer comment: #2 just said, "it was so odd to say, like, how do you look like a graphic designer?"
And I told him I had no idea, that's simply how he struck me.

and then he said something to the effect of "I feel like I let you down, like I was saying, oh, well, I almost made money once."
I just laughed.

But of course, in the end, they were the three who got in the fight.
Typical.

I miss my brother especially now that I am home. I got an encouraging email from him though and it sounds like Denmark is treating him well...except he wrote "its weird, it looks like Southern Minnesota."
How anti-climatic.

He's off to Hawaii on the fhird.

Lately, what keeps me going, and getting by, is this:
"Prologue. Ira explains how you can get away with anything, if you claim you did it for love. (3 minutes)"

I say we all try to do something and do it in the name of love to test that little theory.

Game on-->

Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving!
(I made my signature pumpkin pie tonight. Mmmm. Maybe someday i'll throw a party and make it for all of my friends who actually read it. Then we could post an invite/rsvp in the forum...)

25 November 2003

Date: 11.25
Climate: COLD--lots of snow and grey skies
Drinking: Gatorade
Eating: still digesting last night's food (I have a problem)
Feeling: insomnia
Listening to: that Smith/Blink 182 track...i'm not going to lie, its perfect to me
Watching: Nothing
Reading: Chicago Tribune

I got home in typical fashion, about six and a half hours, leaving from Elmhurst.
I saw a couple interesting things along the way:
A restaurant called "The Old Rig" (big truckers route I am assuming)
A sign that advertised a concrete company and a "Abortion: A child CAN live without it"--both. Side by side. Odd positioning.

that was about it.

Mostly I am preoccupied with my insomnia. For the second night in the row, I couldn't sleep, and when I did fall asleep for just two hours, it was at 4am.
I have given up coffee. Don't drink caffeinated teas, haven't had soda in years...I don't know why I can't sleep anymore. I have developed that horrible feeling of not being able to sleep, ever; even during the day when you would think i'd be tired, i'm not. at all.
But I feel awfully hyper and dizzy. And I am not even on the drugs anymore; its been like 4 days since my last dosage...surely it can't take that long to "ween" off of light doses of whatever crap they were giving me.
I told eddie and julie that I am about to pull a Fight Club, and start going to groups. Just to cry, really, and have a reason to assemble a more legitimate alter ego to carry out my deviance...or to seek revenge like a vampire slayer (Ira's a fan...) whole heartedly for all I have been wronged/for all the injustices in the world. RAH.

Who knows. Regardless, I hope to sleep better tonight.

I am going to an early Thanksgiving dinner party at my best friend's apartment. Should be fun: about 20 people, all new except for her...

mmm. Thanksgiving.


23 November 2003

Date: 11.23
Climate: Alarmingly warm to frighteningly cold in a matter of 24 hours
Drinking: nothing
Eating: Applesauce
Feeling: slightly improved
Listening to: The Strokes: Brand New: Michelle Branch: Jay Z: Blink 182 (ROBERT SMITH CONTRIBUTES. COULD POSSIBLY BE MY NEW ANTHEM UNTIL THE NEW CURE ALBUM COMES OUT)
Watching: Nothing
Reading: want ads...want ads...

Well I feel a little better.
I went into Julius today...and talked to my assistant manager.
He gave me a hug and told me he was sorry. He said that three other people got "fired" by the general manager, or quit within the last week too and that he doesn't understand what type of decisions my general manager is making...but due to our diplomacy, we didn't sit and bash him like the situation may have appropriated...he just said that he would be a reference for me, and also that he is looking for another job too...I said "oh, where?" and he said "not here."
Apparently the other girl who quit said she did so because she couldn't work for my general manager anymore either.
So now I don't feel quite so bad.

But getting fired. Just that word. . . eee.

So. In other news. I watched the movie Narc today, it was way too much for me.
I have a job interview tomorrow, and I am planning on scouring the classifieds from todays paper and sending out more resumes tonight...

I drive home to seven inches of snow minnesota tuesday morning for about a week and a half. I am very excited. My parents are repainting/redecorating my old bedroom to get out all the old teen angst that the walls were screaming from my days as a high schooler.

Meanwhile....had a friend of mine, who is also my boyfriend's cousin, tell us that we would never last because people never last with their one true love.
And that I was very naeive. And innocent. He and I just disagreed in a very naeive and innocent fashion. Of course.

Hmmm. More on that later I guess. I have never felt particularly either to be fully honest.

Also, i'm going to be a substitute teacher till I find another job. Inner city kids or snobby suburbs? I think i'll go with whatever pays more...as much as I would like to think I could change their lives, I really doubt it with a one day stint.

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