02 December 2003

Date: 12/02/03
Climate: cold enough to break
Eating: this dessert called cherries on clouds...
Feeling: tired
Listening to: Howie Day, acoustic...
Watching: Sex and the City season ONE
Reading: nothing

My thoughts are definitely all over the place right now. I have to take it all bite sized.

Good news:
FOUR call backs on my sent in resumes!!!
Two interviews Friday
One Wednesday
and another next Friday.

The woman at the law firm said she was "extremely impressed with my cover letter" claiming it was "one of the best she'd ever seen."
Color me surprised.

So thats good...

I got my hair cut and dyed at this salon only my mother could afford to go...they were VERY rude when I acted surprised that they didn't have blue hair dye, much to my dismay.
It wasn't a pretty sight...butmy hair is now. Its getting very very long. Eventually, i could beciome like Eve back in the Genesis days and run around w/o a shirt and only my long tresses as coverage...hahaaa.

Oh!
My brother, in the flesh, came HOME today to surprise us with a visit.
Some girl with blonde hair and tight jeans drove him up...she had on lots of eye make up. I forget her name. She kept making clucking noises with her tongue and saying "isn't that sweet" to things that weren't sweet at all...like "this crust looks burnt" ( I was making the aforementioned dessert).
"Thats sweet...."
Yeah....(?)
My brother brings home the oddest girls. And he seems just downright bored with them. But he smiles and talks in their general direction enough, so that they stick around.
He's not rude, just generally disinterested on the whole.
Normally i'd have some sexism issue with this but under these circumstances, eye witnessed and all, I can testify that these girls are walking into my brother eyes open...ogling.
Its so sad.

He was only here for like an hour but it was a nice surprise...very christmas-y like. He is off to Hawaii tomorrow am.
My mother of course cried. Lots.
We've gotten so much closer though, it makes it harder...of course. He looks the same. Just older, bigger.
He works out alot. Its amazing that at one time, this was the same brother who played "turtles" with me and climbed trees and raced no handed on our bikes...its sad actually. He kept grilling me on "good mile/two mile race times."
Maybe my brother is actually a hardened international criminal, on the lam and running...from place to place to place...
if only.

Oh well. A girl can dream.

My mothers surgery is tomorrow am. Suffice it to say but my father and I are holding our breaths that this one goes okay.
I don't know how much more our family could deal with, as far as impromptu life support comas for three months go.
Plus, its holiday time...and you know what that means.
That means Charlie Brown Christmas time.
I love it so much...except for the newer versions of Schultz's characters are just not as smart or original...they showed the Charlie Brown Christmas and the newer Christmas version back to back tonight and...you could really tell the difference.
So as you can imagine, it was quite satisfying for me to call Eddie and have him watch it too. We discussed it afterwards. We actually laughed and commented on the same things--
Thats true love I tell you.

In other news, I went to the optometrist today. The good news is I am not going blind as I had originally thought...but the somewhat bad news is that I have to wear reading glasses with my contacts, OR get bifocals.
Bifocals at 22.

I am an old woman.

So tonight, to cheer up my mom before she goes to the hospital for hopefully not too long, I am going to decorate my house Christmas style. I have all the decorations and it will take forever..mainly because everything is coordinated by color, actually, for each room. No joke.

I am glad to do it for her, but sad at how everything has shifted.
No Jesse...
No healthy parents...
Nothing like the way it used to be when I was growing up and remembering Christmas.

Things really won't ever go back to being how they used to be--
I always knew it would eventually be like this, but at 22 this still feels too young. And so abrupt, no gentle aging, just all of a sudden, you're an adult. Not young adult, not teenager in her later teen years or something. But adult.

Sorry if it seems like I am moping, this is all just very very strange to me.



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