11 December 2003

Date: 12.11.03
Climate: Sun!
Eating: Skittles
Feeling: better...
Listening to: Christmas Carols*
Watching: "Another Lousy Day"
Reading: The Hipsters Handbook...so funny. So true.

Okay, yesterday I spent seven hours at a martial arts school, doing administrative assistant work. I updated member information, pet and fed the gym dog (does that seem wrong to anyone else?), learned various martial arts terminology that I'll likely forget, and checked my email.

And the sad part is, I don't even know if I have the damned job yet. It was "training," or something...who knows.
I don't really know how I could have f-ed that up but with my luck, well, need I say more, knock on wood*

Went and saw "Another Lousy Day" at Lifeline theater last night...it was great. Very touching and well done. Very This American Life-esque, which makes sense due to the fact it was co-produced or directed by the woman who works for TAL on their web stuff...but it will be on All Things Considered on Christmas day, so I encourage everyone, wherever you are that special day, to tune it. Its very holiday-appropriate.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
The Blondie Issue has been as clarified as much as it can be. I just don't know anymore, about people and why they think and act and say what they do, and just how I factor in, and why i got hurt, etc. so I figure, since it looks like i'll have to deal with this issue with every single guy I do date from here on in, well, why sacrifice the things that are great, like, how he deals with my moods...and so on and so forth. Blah Blah Blah...

Tomorrow I have an interview at a law firm. I am also going to walk LaSalle with my resume and cover letter...word on the street is that being a "project assistant" at litigation and corporate law firms not only give you valuable pre-law school experience, but a hefty pay check as well, up to two grand a week...when you are working on a case going to trial, that is. I am also going to go to the American Bar Association too...I figure, if this girl did it (albeit in 99 when the market was, hands down, much better), why can't I, or something...anyway. More trials and tribulations with the job market...
and as you have read, everything else, too, I am sure.

08 December 2003

Date: 12.08.03
Climate: grey
Eating: cereal
Feeling: morale is way, way down
Listening to: Palo Alto
Watching: more sex and the city
Reading: want ads galore.

::::
Here's just a sample of the many slammed doors I have recieved (nearly 100).
::::

"Thank you for replying with interest to the position of Administrative
Assistant.

Unfortunately, your background does not satisfy the needs of our
organization as well as some others that have been received.

We wish you well in your continuing search for an employment position.

HR Department"

Add to that the fact that my boyfriend told me that his parents wish he was with a "beautiful blonde, with stand up parents, with money" and you can see why I am really really wondering just when the biblical "Job-like" lifestyle I am living, will cease to pretty much suck for me.
I am not blonde.
Nor beautiful apparently.
My parents are also apparently from the wrong side of the tracks
and I have no money.

Add to that the fact that his mother calls me a "whore" in spanish, and its just GREAT all the time.

Who, really, would want to take on a charity case like myself?
(I jest...sorta)
I didn't know that my "looks Asian yet knows nothing about the culture because I was raised by white parents in Minnesota and that is the only culture I really have ever known" would ever really hit such a perfect peak...I am actually kinda, sorta, crying as I write this.
Yeah. That was pathetic but at this point, who's up for saving grace?

Normally I would just call more people (My poor friend who goes to Marquette got the bulk of it) but seeing as its late, the blog gets most of the heat.
I know, I know, it can and could and probably will get worse, but right about now, the morale is gone...I just, somebody please tell me when its going to get fucking easier, okay?


But in case you were waiting for the perfect time to stick something else to me, now's the time, Carpe Diem.

Batters Up--somebody else, please hit me now while I am down...or maybe, just maybe, an outpouring of "friend" support will surface...hopefully unlike my other "best friend" who promised to "call me back" but never does...thats happened like ten times.
I'm like a wounded dog...too much loyalty or something.

yeck. I hate feeling this way just as much as I am sure you all hate reading it, so tomorrow, I promise, i'll try to have something more positive and fun to read....god, today really hit me hard.

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