Today is another depressing and rainy day. I hate this weather. I hate lugging umbrellas around. I really hate how you can't find a happy medium for wardrobe...dark fall colors or foolish looking spring hues? I opted for the dark today. Oh wait, thats be/c I am wearing a wool jacket to top it off. I hate it. May. May is the month of renewal, sun, and moreover, my birthday. In 16 days I turn 24. I am excited. Birthdays only come once a year.
So far, no plans. I don't know. I have the day off from work immediately after due to Memorial Day holiday. Oh, work. Yesterday I had a talk with my boss who complimented me on my work thus far and told me he wants to change my role at the firm into doing more "rooky lawyer" tasks...i.e. prepping witnesses, summing deps, and assisting him in the tasks that the junior lawyers have doen in the past couple trials. I hope I am as qualified as he seems to believe. I am excited but still not completely 100%. Anyway, we'll see.
Saw the movie Crash with Eddie last week. Interesting, but more be/c of the audience's reaction (espcially in relation to asians/arabs which were the predominately absent minority in the audience)...lots of laughs to the stereotypical jokes on those races, not so much against blacks or whites. Moreover, the fact that the movie seems to thrive off of just blatant culture staples...as negative ideals...since when did being an overtly non-"western" culture become a negative? Many of the stabs that the characters were attacking weren't necessarily racist but cultural, and made racist be/c, to be quite frank, reflecting much of anything besides a mainstreamed "western" culture is now negative. I.E. the concept of "all mexicans" (much debate with the characters regarding what defines a "mexican") who all park their cars on their lawns...tacky but its the generalization that is frowned on. Generalizations like "we all go to college, we all have manicured lawns, we all are christian, we all are republican, we all ____" (insert "White" characteristic or even mainstreamted "black" characteristic here)are never as shocking. Is it sheer numbers which encourages this type of acceptance and therefore rejection of anything but?
Makes me think about my "black mother" (who actually coined the term herself) in Michigan who told me about how "we like our church candy," we meaning the black community.
I don't know. I saw alot of truths and honesty in the movie. But that theme, along with the illustrated racism within the audience, was stronger.
Anyway.
Went running on Mothers Day along the lakefront and was surprised at how many people weren't with their mothers. Orphans? Motherless? Out of towners? Either way, i'm pretty sure I got heat stroke (headachy, weak, and hot and dizzy for a full 24 hours, post food, hydration, electrolytes, and sleep. Never fun). Found out my mom spent Mothers day in the hospital. Again. Constant reminders of that fun summer of comatose life.
I am also monumentally frustrated with my father again. Everytime he seems to think I am deviating from that 100mph over achieving attitude, he ushers in his "you're wrong, do what I say, don't disappoint me, you're better than this" speech.
The frustrating thing is that without that push, I doubt i'd be the dimensional and hard working person that I believe myself to be...and I like that about myself. Catch 22 like most of life.
Back to listening to Rachael Yamagata. She's gorgeous; I wish I looked like her. She's this german-italian-japanese mix. Again just makes me want to procreate with Eddie.
Oh, also watched the NeverEnding Story last night with Eddie. Nothing compares to that movie.