01 April 2004

The" Shut Down " Entry
Date: April Fools.
Climate: Sun's deceptive glare...its cold.
Eating: --
Drinking: coffee
Feeling: meh/
Listening to: Kill Hannah
Watching: THE OC
Reading: --

Has anyone seen the front page of the NYTimes today, or of any paper?
Horrifying. What the HELL is going on --

Drug through the streets. Burnt to unidentifiable appearances. HUNG from a bridge. And to think that their wives, children, friends and relatives all got to see that picture today...and wonder "is that my husband?"

Its just too much that gets worse and worse and worse and...

--

The fight at home? A six am picket line at People's Energy/Gas. Two people got arrested (they were designated)...I was freezing, too many cops--

Now in Englewood. I have already had my fair share of sexual harassment and am feeling really fed up.

But to compensate, Detroit in three days.
Still don't know where I am living...but I got a phone number for the rental car place (all the digits even!)--so slow, not too steady.

Eddie and I had another amazing night. ... with two or three more to come before the teary departure.
I like it when he drives. I never thought i'd be one of those women that preferred the man to drive ... but it could be he drives a much nicer car than my rental (Its some sort of X type. I mean, they have types...?)
But it could also be that I am finally ponying up to the fact that despite all of my feminist quibbles and soapbox standings, the bottom line is that a family --kids--pups--are starting to look good and sound good. It is true what they say; once you find that "right" person.
And I think I have.
Again, the fear sets in even stronger.

Okay, back to work.

30 March 2004

The" Wrong Turn " Entry
Date: 3.30.04
Climate: cold again damnit
Eating: --
Drinking: --
Feeling: trapped
Listening to: Spitalfield
Watching: --
Reading: --

Last night Eddie and I left Oak Park after seeing Eternal Sunshine (which was fabulously sad) and drove our seperate ways.
When I got home, I heard "Hey where you going?"
I turned around and there he was, walking towards me, smiling.
He just looked at me and said "I took a wrong turn and ended up at your place."
And he smiled, and I smiled and almost started to cry.
As we walked towards my apartment, I stopped and looked at him and said,
"you know those moments, when you're really really happy, and you know you're happy, and all you can say to yourself is 'don't ever forget this feeling,'? Well thats what I am trying to do right now."
And then he kissed me. And we recounted side by side the play by play of how we met and got together which we shamlessly do about once a month. Its a guilty pleasure.
And then we went on to embody that couple in the pages of the magazines, in the memorable collage scenes a la Romeo + Juliet...happy and laughing and kissing in bed and I realized that for once in my life things are absolutely perfect.

And I am so. so. scared.

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