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The "Fish or Cut Bait" Entry

Date: 1.07.04
Climate: Cold
Eating: apples and carrots
Drinking: Chai Tea
Feeling: NERVOUS
Listening to: Lauryn Hill, old skool
Watching: The West Wing
Reading: what I have written thus far in my "book"

Tomorrow I have the final interview for the law firm.
I am so nervous I feel like I have to run to the bathroom every five minutes.
I can't drink anything else or tomorrow I may really have a problem.

Tonight I watched the west wing -- once again, I pondered how many Americans really believe that it is real. Like glorified CSPAN.
I've also decided that my new motto is "fish or cut bait" with my life.
From now on, all mottos, all the time.

If I don't get a job in the next month and a half, I am moving to DC or California. NO joke. Chicago just isn't doing it for me. And if my boyfriend and I don't last, well, then it wasn't meant to be.

I can't afford to keep trying at a game where the odds are so fucking stacked against me. And that applies to everything.

I may sound down and out but today was another glorious day which no one really cared to listen to. So i'll just internalize it and wake up energized to feel that sinking anchor of failure float to the bottom of my stomach and morale, simultaneously, again.



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