The " gone away" Entry
Date: 7.26
Climate: this has been the dreariest summer ever...even MN summers are better than this.
Eating: 94% fat free popcorn
Drinking: water
Feeling: sad
Listening to: Kiss Me Kiss Me (Cure)
Watching: CSPAN
Reading: More Atlantic Monthly
This has been a very sad day. I cried for about five minutes after Eddie left this morning and I still feel really sad right now. I hate being away from him, but more than anything, I really hate being alone all the time. Even at work...alone in the office. Driving to and from...the evenings...just always alone. I found out that the SEIU members that were so nice to me when I started were getting nasty with another member who was hassled once she got promoted and I empathize with her--I talked to our field director today and tried to translate that those members were a tad bit different than the other ones coming on (she wanted to know how I was screening and interviewing the MPO's)--once again, it just pushed me back to how much hell this job has been. No one seems to realize how we were all given this idea that we were all coming on to lead offices and have an actual role, and not be just little paper pushers or blind canvassers, and thats not happening anywhere. I have realized that, like a relationship, if the amount of bad outweighs the good, someone has got to be dumped--I think I need to dump this job. I really do. I have no idea what happened with the PIRG's but my fear of being over qualified really has hit home--I don't even care. I am back to the original plan--which has lingered for two years almost--I want to get to law school. This fall. I should quit, work in a coffee house, tak the kaplan course, and get to school. Its amazing how the skills I have can't get me anywhere. I have literally no choice if I want a job that pays or I enjoy, or both, than law school.
Date: 7.26
Climate: this has been the dreariest summer ever...even MN summers are better than this.
Eating: 94% fat free popcorn
Drinking: water
Feeling: sad
Listening to: Kiss Me Kiss Me (Cure)
Watching: CSPAN
Reading: More Atlantic Monthly
This has been a very sad day. I cried for about five minutes after Eddie left this morning and I still feel really sad right now. I hate being away from him, but more than anything, I really hate being alone all the time. Even at work...alone in the office. Driving to and from...the evenings...just always alone. I found out that the SEIU members that were so nice to me when I started were getting nasty with another member who was hassled once she got promoted and I empathize with her--I talked to our field director today and tried to translate that those members were a tad bit different than the other ones coming on (she wanted to know how I was screening and interviewing the MPO's)--once again, it just pushed me back to how much hell this job has been. No one seems to realize how we were all given this idea that we were all coming on to lead offices and have an actual role, and not be just little paper pushers or blind canvassers, and thats not happening anywhere. I have realized that, like a relationship, if the amount of bad outweighs the good, someone has got to be dumped--I think I need to dump this job. I really do. I have no idea what happened with the PIRG's but my fear of being over qualified really has hit home--I don't even care. I am back to the original plan--which has lingered for two years almost--I want to get to law school. This fall. I should quit, work in a coffee house, tak the kaplan course, and get to school. Its amazing how the skills I have can't get me anywhere. I have literally no choice if I want a job that pays or I enjoy, or both, than law school.