The " languish " Entry
Date: 23 July
Climate: cooler, with air that you can't cut with a knife
Eating: --
Drinking: caramel macchiato
Feeling: sleepy
Listening to: Portishead--and one of the new coordinators demand she wants to fax from her computer, and not walk the two feet to the machine to do it manually. I mean, come on.
Watching: Nightline--interesting piece on al qaeda pragmatism and what a boost of confidence it really is to be able to perform an attack which was as terrible and grandiose as 9.11, without truly severe and reverberating consequences...and information on their other "cells" in places like Madrid.
Reading: economist--
Its been an interesting few days--I am more than slighly alarmed with my director's newfound appreciation for me--hes back to joking around and thanking me profusely as well as patting me on the back and sending me "great job" emails.
This scares me for one of two reasons and I don't know which one alarms me more, yet:
1) they are going to shift me over once I am done with this hiring extravaganza and they're trying to butter me up to doing yet another crap job no one else wants
or
2) they've somehow caught wind of how genuinely unhappy I am (i've alluded, sure, but nothing that would warrant this) and are trying at rapid pace to make certain I stay for the remaining 100 so days.
This obviously confuses me...maybe he's bi polar. I don't know. Or maybe he just realized that I am doing as much as I can and am genuinely pleasant about it all, at least on the outside.
I have been trying to figure out just why I am so upset when in fact, the job isn't SO bad but the location sucks. If Eddie, for instance, was at home every night when I got done, life wouldn't be so blase (spelling? How do I type L'accent aigu?).
But thats not the case.
I do enjoy preparing for his arrival though...I went to three different grocery stores last night (its actually a necessity here) and am struggling on how to carmelize nuts and also cook leeks. I am going to make Vicchysoise and also fix a salad similar to the one we shared in Lakeview with carmelized walnuts. I hope I don't burn the hotel down. I also am making this spinach ricotta mushroom pasta, and bruschetta and caprese salad. And tonight, for the ultimate indulgence, making puppy chow, that great little peanut butter, chocolate, powdered sugar chex mix treat...and to feed my apparently new addiction, bought three kinds of cheese and apples. I can't eat the two without the other and i have no idea why.
So now I feel completely domesticated and uncertain about why my hormones are kicking this out now, as opposed to, say, psychotic research on voting trends in all of the battleground states or something. I don't know anymore.
Talked to an old friend from home who I essentially spent all of my time with back in high school--she's in Texas now, working at a fitness corporation--her dad was always big into the national guard, and as I feared, he's traveling back and forth to Iraq alot to visit the troops and do other national guard-y things. I hope nothing happens to him. It was nice to catch up with her again. Evidently one of our other friends, who also lives in Texas, is engaged to another one of our high school friends old roomates.
Six degrees of seperation anyone?
I finally nailed a conversation down with my mother, turns out some men from the East coast may want to buy my grandfathers dusty business my dad now owns. Finally. Everytime I have to hear about it, though, those three years come back full force...and who wants to remember that all over again? Not I. But at least if my dad decides to sell, we'll be able to wash our hands of that damage for good. I am taking a trip home next weekend for my dad's 55th, and with any luck, will be able to see the little brother. I am sure my dad will grill me about a job after this election concludes (thanks dad, always there to appreciate what i have already done, and never push me for what I am doing three months from now) and my mom will hopefully not cry when I depart--too much emotion, on both spectrums.
Back to listening to Portishead.
Date: 23 July
Climate: cooler, with air that you can't cut with a knife
Eating: --
Drinking: caramel macchiato
Feeling: sleepy
Listening to: Portishead--and one of the new coordinators demand she wants to fax from her computer, and not walk the two feet to the machine to do it manually. I mean, come on.
Watching: Nightline--interesting piece on al qaeda pragmatism and what a boost of confidence it really is to be able to perform an attack which was as terrible and grandiose as 9.11, without truly severe and reverberating consequences...and information on their other "cells" in places like Madrid.
Reading: economist--
Its been an interesting few days--I am more than slighly alarmed with my director's newfound appreciation for me--hes back to joking around and thanking me profusely as well as patting me on the back and sending me "great job" emails.
This scares me for one of two reasons and I don't know which one alarms me more, yet:
1) they are going to shift me over once I am done with this hiring extravaganza and they're trying to butter me up to doing yet another crap job no one else wants
or
2) they've somehow caught wind of how genuinely unhappy I am (i've alluded, sure, but nothing that would warrant this) and are trying at rapid pace to make certain I stay for the remaining 100 so days.
This obviously confuses me...maybe he's bi polar. I don't know. Or maybe he just realized that I am doing as much as I can and am genuinely pleasant about it all, at least on the outside.
I have been trying to figure out just why I am so upset when in fact, the job isn't SO bad but the location sucks. If Eddie, for instance, was at home every night when I got done, life wouldn't be so blase (spelling? How do I type L'accent aigu?).
But thats not the case.
I do enjoy preparing for his arrival though...I went to three different grocery stores last night (its actually a necessity here) and am struggling on how to carmelize nuts and also cook leeks. I am going to make Vicchysoise and also fix a salad similar to the one we shared in Lakeview with carmelized walnuts. I hope I don't burn the hotel down. I also am making this spinach ricotta mushroom pasta, and bruschetta and caprese salad. And tonight, for the ultimate indulgence, making puppy chow, that great little peanut butter, chocolate, powdered sugar chex mix treat...and to feed my apparently new addiction, bought three kinds of cheese and apples. I can't eat the two without the other and i have no idea why.
So now I feel completely domesticated and uncertain about why my hormones are kicking this out now, as opposed to, say, psychotic research on voting trends in all of the battleground states or something. I don't know anymore.
Talked to an old friend from home who I essentially spent all of my time with back in high school--she's in Texas now, working at a fitness corporation--her dad was always big into the national guard, and as I feared, he's traveling back and forth to Iraq alot to visit the troops and do other national guard-y things. I hope nothing happens to him. It was nice to catch up with her again. Evidently one of our other friends, who also lives in Texas, is engaged to another one of our high school friends old roomates.
Six degrees of seperation anyone?
I finally nailed a conversation down with my mother, turns out some men from the East coast may want to buy my grandfathers dusty business my dad now owns. Finally. Everytime I have to hear about it, though, those three years come back full force...and who wants to remember that all over again? Not I. But at least if my dad decides to sell, we'll be able to wash our hands of that damage for good. I am taking a trip home next weekend for my dad's 55th, and with any luck, will be able to see the little brother. I am sure my dad will grill me about a job after this election concludes (thanks dad, always there to appreciate what i have already done, and never push me for what I am doing three months from now) and my mom will hopefully not cry when I depart--too much emotion, on both spectrums.
Back to listening to Portishead.