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The " hurt " Entry
Date: 6 August 04
Climate: still spring to me
Eating: --
Drinking: water and chai tea
Feeling: stressed
Listening to: hum of wires and faxes and computers
Watching: time tick by
Reading: google

I am really hurt.

I called to ask if the person I worked with at 880 would be a reference for me, and he told me that he would "have to call me back as that is a very complex question."
So lets review what I did wrong.
First off, over and over, they kept telling me how "great I am doing" and how they only hear "nothing but good things."
From my time at 880, I recall being a good organizer, and doing my job well.
I don't ever remember quitting 880 but being shipped up here--which was what they rather instructed me to do.
Now that i want to come home, and possibly change jobs (while I am still somewhat employed through them) they a) don't know if they can get me a job back there and b) won't tell me if they'll be a reference if they, in fact, cannot get me a job back there.

I am really upset right now. I feel really cheated.
I felt such an affinity to 880 and to the union but from the way they are acting, I feel as though what they stand for and what they communicate, compared to what they do, are contradicting points.
I should have seen this coming. Another two organizers had this happen to them, and I have heard that they aren't even guaranteeing a job to the other "heroes" who are in Missouri for when they get back.
This whole program is operating in no way, shape, or form like we were told and led to believe.
I think that if it all comes down to it, I don't even know if I can consciously go back there to work, with all this happening.

The only thing I have to look towards is that everyone here has been fantastic and has said they'd be references for me. Unless 880 tries to sabotoge that, I think I will be okay.

But I still feel hurt.

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